I have such high standards when seeking a woman, when I dont even think that highly of myself? In fact I think i’m mundane as hell.
miss you. So much. I want your embrace; your forehead against mine, and silence. Just silence. It’s been far longer than four months, i’m most positively sure of myself now; that i’m hopelessly in love with you.
I had checked from time to time as to whether or not the thought of me was welcomed in the minds of my foes, who at one point were my dearest of friends. An impregnable barrier had shielded themselves from the memory of a monster, that which was me; a wall they had built up them selves. From time to time, I approached it; there was no way I was getting in. Months had passed.
I find myself going through a metamorphosis. A self actualization acquired by a voluntary solitary confinement. I am being reborn. I ponder several equations in my head, stressing my mind and thoughts in attempts to exceeded my own imagination; for beyond that lies “truth”. Then today, after all I’ve obtained, endured mentally and physically, jaded and leather, or so I thought. To my astonishment, the walls had been deconstructed, taken down. No words were exchanged. Just a small view was all I had to feed off of. It was a subtle gesture, but enough to clarify one thing for me, “Do you ever think of me anymore?” The answer was not so black and white, but yes, I was thought of in the process of tearing down the wall.
Would anything happen from here? Who knows. Am I thinking too much into the situation? Most likely. Should I just continue on with my aspirations and existence? Yes. All were redundant, all held truth. However, what wits I had obtained, what cunning I know and behold, the strength that resides with in; I’ll be honest, were slightly tattered or dinged by the finding of this occurrence. The past becomes the present once more, and the longing for, is now fresh.
What would I do if “something” did occur. What if we actually spoke again. If you spoke to me? I will remain still, more patience, an attribute I am still trying to master. I’ve fed off you even whilst you were absent to my life line. This entire time, you’ve kept me under your spell.
— As I thought to myself.
I’d be the embodiment of Lisbeth Salander.
A part of me wants to immerse myself into the world of the hacker.