65.2 miles:
Our red thread will stretch. It may even bend and twist, but it will never sever. I will make sure of that. It saddens me; my heart aches at the thought of not being able to see those stunning, beautiful star gaze eyes everyday. Those alone gave me the energy to vanquish the hours of my day. Those soft lips, I will long for the taste every moment we are apart. Your laugh, sense of humor, adorable and addictive smile, your everything, I will miss tremendously…However, I will not let this ruin me. I will not let this ruin us. We will endure, and hold fast. It will only be a chapter of mild struggle. Together we move the oars and our vessel ever forward. It will not only be hardship, for there will be plenty of amazing memories to behold within the next couple of months, and then after that, with enough perseverance and handwork, we will finally be together how we always wanted. Stay strong my love, my heart it breathes and pulses for you and my strength for you and us will not falter.
$4,700
Is how much I was awarded for the year in Pell Grant money. GNAR.
I’d think something was truly wrong with me if I didn’t wake up once in a while and be in complete dispair.
This is the life I lead.
6/7/12
An early birthday present?
A twist of fate?
A new challenge?
The inevitable?
Bad timing?
My demise.
But what?
I felt ill to my stomach; for an instance I thought I was going to be sick. Sick from a sudden an decisive blow from an adversary of mine, a demon of my own design; anxiety. Completely caught off guard, unexpected and surreal. As I hesitated for a moment, to just absorb this happening, I gathered myself and cordially responded.
It’s as if things started right where they had left off.
Is this too good to be true? What’s the catch? Why all of a sudden? What do you want from me now? All were relevant questions teaming ever crevasse of my mind. My ID went wild; everything I craved, wanted, longed for at my fingertips again, and then some. Not just carnal instincts, but a knowing that this relentless void could finally be subdued.
I take the chance; “stepped off the chair so I could learn to let lose”.
Am I destined for disaster once more? Have I learned absolutely nothing in the months past?
My most recent philosophy, as of late, has told me to just accept things for what their worth, find the learning in every aspect of life and to never stay stagnant. Granted, I will not let this in any way falter my vision of the future. However, I will ride this instance out and see what it births.
For better or for worse, I will weather the storm(s).
-Regards
"Transcendence is the final destination; the beginning and the end. We endure a life time of struggle to become the Alpha and Omega."
— 6/5/2012
