July 2012
" I Love You "
In Japan, there are 3 ways to say ”I Love You”:
Daisuki - for friends and persons you like.
Aishiteru - for a more serious relationship.
Koishiteru - for the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
As of the last couple of weeks I have not been in a happier and more determined state of mind. However, it has not been a stroll in the park. The cause of my euphoria is the result of a reunion with what I have come to believe with each passing day and trial overcome, to be the love of my life. If you have not experienced such a state of ecstasy then such words I speak of must be foreign to you. If the concept of love and devotion were but petty joys and tribulations then it would have no more value then that of something tangible. In experiencing all my happiness and sentimentality, it has always only come after I have had to endure and over come intense pain, worry, fear, and metal exhaustion. Companionship is a vessel with two oars; each individual exerting equal effort to move forward, make progress. The pain and strain of exhaustion; your hardships and trials to which you must both over come. To trust that you will both steer your vessel in the right direction. And when the weather changes for the worst; hold fast to each other and to one anothers heart and soul in prayer that you will outlast the storm. I have attained an incredible feat of strength, courage, motivation, and determination; for I now not only thrive off the beating of my heart alone, but two. My heart stays strong for myself and another and as I feel the two hearts beat within me, the energy enveloping my conscience and subconscious, I find I come out on top, and overcome such fears and pains. I ask for strength in the next month that I am; she is; that we are able to endure this. From there on after it will have all been worth fighting for. I know now, after taking off my armor, letting in another heart beat, throwing myself at the mercy of others opinions but shielding our selves and taking the hits in the process; I know now that this person, this soul is who I must be with. I must protect us and provide for us. I pray that these fallacies and fears, planted among my thoughts, striking fear and dismay into my heart, are all but that; false. I have grown stronger, but still fear if such a beautiful thing were to wither away, if it could not stand the force of the on coming tides; I fear it would break me in such a way I could not pick myself back up again. I do not doubt us, but these fears enforced by my critics, those I hold as kin, ail me and cast a looming shadow over us. Trust is all I can do. Trust in my significant other, love her, hold her, and protect her and us. I know it’s real this time. Don’t fail me now, fate.
Hold fast to hope.
Hold fast.
